They might say they're your "best friends," but the moment your back is turned, they lie about you to others. No one wants to be hurt in this way, but how do you deal with them? Perhaps the following tips can help.
Steps
1. All backstabbers share a common denominator; they all want something from you. Whether it is money, homework, a house to trash, your computer, your style, practically anything, varies from person to person.
* If somebody betrays you, don't trust that person again without extensive consideration.
2. Be aware of your surroundings. If you have a bad feeling about somebody, listen to your instincts!
3. Pay attention to red flags:
* If someone is mean to you one minute and nice to you the next, there is definitely something wrong.
4 . If someone is too aggressive or tries too hard to sell you on something, he or she is likely setting you up.
5. Trust your real friends. They're here to help you.
6. Notice the other person's work ethic. If he or she is lazy and irresponsible, stay away from the person as far as anything that requires hard work goes. If you work hard, he or she will use you in a heartbeat!
7. Notice how they treat the things you care about. For instance if you really care about your room's cleanliness and you've explained this to them but they still come over, throw their backpack on the ground, take their shoes off in the middle of the room and so on; this means they don't really care about you.
8. Try to detect from an early stage what the backstabber is interested in sucking from you.
9. If the backstabber persists in pestering you, either ignore them or tell them dispassionately that you do not want to do (insert activity here). Be polite, but extremely firm. If they detect a weakness in your firmness, they will try as hard as they can to puncture it.
Tips
- Treat him/her like you would any other snake. Be polite when in his/her area but keep to the path, and maintain your distance.
- Don't rely on the backstabber for anything; even the tiniest of things. In this way, you will avoid situations where you owe him/her a favor. This technique takes patience, practice and goes completely against your better nature. The backstabber will get the hint and move on the next sucker/victim.
- Don't hesitate to ask questions. If somebody seems shady in any perspective, ask them about it but pay close attention to their answers. More often than not, they will try to pull one over you.
- Try to avoid revenge. This will create more problems. But if you simply have to get even, remember that the best revenge in this case would be hanging out with your best friends right in front of their face.
- If you can't stand being around him/her, try breaking off the friendship without out rightly telling them you don't want to be friends (for example, "drift away" from the friendship and let it fizzle out).
- There is a difference between friends and acquaintances. This means that even though he might be fun to talk at in classroom or at lunch, he might not be the kind of person you would like to hang out with after school.
- Also do not tell them any secret that you want kept hidden, as they will tell it to another one of their "friends" the moment it will gain them something.
- A person who always verbally reminds you that you're his or her friend is usually someone who has an invisible dagger in his or her hand. Watch out when he or she hugs you.
- Make sure not to reduce to his level by saying untrue and bad things about him behind his back (this is a huge no-no!) as it will only spur him to action against you.
- Get away from these people as soon as possible and convince others not to associate with them. Just say that 'they aren't the best person to hang out with.' Take care if you choose to do that.
- Don't talk to the backstabbers friends, they could be spies.
- Do not get angry when he stabs you in the back. Realize from the start it will happen eventually. Don't form any deep relationship with him. He'll suck you dry.
- Never let the backstabber know that he/she has gotten to you.
- And don't confront him, just smile knowingly and take action to prevent further damage.
- Be careful when you talk to backstabbers, they might be recording you.
- Do not underestimate his power. Try not to offend or hurt him, but be merely polite and refuse him anything he asks that you are not willing to give.
- Completely ignoring them will cause them to spin out of control and make their blood boil. At least they won't have the satisfaction of knowing you are in turmoil because of them. It is best to avoid them, if at all possible!
